"I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them."
— Andy Bernard (via catfacemeowmers)
(Source: reelgeekery, via catfacemeowmers)
"At one time I prided myself on being knowledgeable about good wine. But over the years I just drank so much of it that I didn’t care anymore. Late one afternoon, after I’d finished a round of golf, a guy sent over an expensive glass of port. I was drinking Absolut vodka on the rocks, and as the guy watched, I poured the port right into my Absolut. He came over to me in shock and said, “Man, that was a $15-a-shot port I sent over here.” And I said, “Oh, I’m sorry. We drink these all the time. We call them Aborts."
Mickey Mantle talking to Sports Illustrated back in 1994.
Mantle, while his crippling alcoholism was tragic, was also very creative with his names for alcoholic beverages.