why am i in seminary?

Carlos Gomez: Easy, baseball. I’ve got you. Baseball: You...

Wed, 19 Jun 2013 15:56:10 -0400

Carlos Gomez: Easy, baseball. I’ve got you.

Baseball: You - you’ve got me? Who’s got you?

catfacemeowmers: professorfangirl: kryptaria: prettyarbitrary:...

Mon, 17 Jun 2013 18:21:05 -0400

professorfangirl:

kryptaria:

prettyarbitrary:

hollydiggity:

imsuggestingcoconutsmigrate:

hiddles-batched:

bearyourcross:

yeahmicah:

mythosaur:

quellingmyboredom:

Muppet Treasure Island…

Fern Gully tbh

Jackie’s Back

Home Alone 2

If I’m perfectly honest, my original is It, because I grew up in a horrible household

Mine is rocky horror, so I’m unsure what that says about my household. Other than it was awesome.

I first remember him in Clue.

Technically, Rocky Horror, but I first saw it when I was around eight or ten, when it came to HBO. My parents caught me watching it again, because at that age, I couldn’t understand what the hell the plot had been — I just liked the dancing and singing.

So I suppose the first movie of his that I understood was Legend. But still, Rocky Horror.

And I will forever regret not seeing Anthony Head play Frank, though I’ve caught some youtube clips of it.

I will always associate Tim Curry with the thrill of being half naked in a theater and the thunk of toilet rolls hitting the screen.

Clue.

CONGO

here’s the context for when troy, ohio burns

Mon, 03 Jun 2013 09:04:14 -0400

here’s the context for when troy, ohio burns

Nicely done, Howlers Coyote Cafe.

Wed, 29 May 2013 21:31:40 -0400

Nicely done, Howlers Coyote Cafe.

i think i’m okay with the Z if you lay down first

Fri, 24 May 2013 08:50:18 -0400

i think i’m okay with the Z if you lay down first

only if you eat it

Wed, 22 May 2013 08:34:16 -0400

only if you eat it

sorry gotta put this everywhere

Tue, 21 May 2013 23:16:48 -0400

sorry gotta put this everywhere

"I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them."

Thu, 16 May 2013 23:12:31 -0400

“I wish there was a way to know you’re in the good old days before you’ve actually left them.”

- Andy Bernard (via catfacemeowmers)

aatombomb: brooklynmutt: CNN’s Nancy Grace and Ashleigh...

Tue, 07 May 2013 23:26:14 -0400

aatombomb:

brooklynmutt:

CNN’s Nancy Grace and Ashleigh Banfield Hold Split-Screen Interview in Same Parking Lot

Check out the “same bus in both shots.”

More: The Atlantic Wire

Oh, CNN.

normally, i would object to summertime dairy queening (all the...

Mon, 06 May 2013 14:19:32 -0400

normally, i would object to summertime dairy queening (all the good ice cream places are just starting to open up!) but this changes everything

Photo

Mon, 06 May 2013 13:01:33 -0400

productiveouts: letter26: Tony Gwynn Jr’s reaction to hecklers...

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 22:13:39 -0400

productiveouts:

letter26:

Tony Gwynn Jr’s reaction to hecklers is perfect.

Well played, indeed.

oh. my. goodness.

"At one time I prided myself on being knowledgeable about good wine. But over the years I just drank..."

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 09:50:56 -0400

“At one time I prided myself on being knowledgeable about good wine. But over the years I just drank so much of it that I didn’t care anymore. Late one afternoon, after I’d finished a round of golf, a guy sent over an expensive glass of port. I was drinking Absolut vodka on the rocks, and as the guy watched, I poured the port right into my Absolut. He came over to me in shock and said, “Man, that was a $15-a-shot port I sent over here.” And I said, “Oh, I’m sorry. We drink these all the time. We call them Aborts.””

- Mickey Mantle talking to Sports Illustrated back in 1994.

Mantle, while his crippling alcoholism was tragic, was also very creative with his names for alcoholic beverages.
(via bestrooftalkever)

it was a great day

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 13:29:28 -0400

it was a great day

death prizes

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 10:32:02 -0400

ben: my sister caught a homerun ball during bp at a yankee game
ben:when we were walking around in monument park
me: did it almost kill her
ben: no
me: too bad
ben: i know
ben: it would have made the story more exciting
me: nothing sweeter than the rush of adrenaline
me: i almost died, but instead, i have this prize
me: i wish all my near death experiences came with prizes
ben: haha
me: i almost fish tailed under that tractor trailer, BUT NOW I HAVE ICE CREAMS

I always hoped that if I went to enough Pirates games, that...

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 09:59:49 -0400

I always hoped that if I went to enough Pirates games, that eventually I would catch a foul ball. I’ve been getting to about 10 or so games a season the last couple of years, mostly sitting in the same section - so come onnnnnnnn probability.

The trouble is, where we sit, you don’t get the lazy pop fouls where everybody hugs together and waits for the ball to descent back to earth. No, the only baseballs that get into our section are screaming death lasers of hatred - the kind when a right-handed batter gets just enough of a 94 mph fastball to redirect it around the safety screen.

By the top of the 3rd inning yesterday, there still wasn’t anyone seated in the 4 seats to my left. Further down the row, there was a group of fairly quiet Cubs fans. Castro fouled off a 1-0 fastball, and when Burnett threw the fastball again on 1-1, Castro was still late on it. He reached out and just tipped it - sending the asteroid from Armageddon screeching up into my row. I guess Bruce Willis didn’t hit his depth because the baseball made it all the way to the seat three to my left.

The Cubs fan closest to me was elbow-deep in a sandwich, so as the ball hit the seat, fell to the ground, and started to roll, he had to take care of his sandwich before reaching down. The ball was definitely still closer to him when I lunged for it, but I got there first. I grabbed it and looked right into the dude’s eyes and said “Let’s go Bucs!”.

I expected him to give an aw, shucks half smile of disappointment - but he actually looked super-pissed about it. I instantly felt terrible about saying that cheesy line, or that maybe since the ball was closer to him, that he was somehow entitled to to it. Did I break the foul ball code? I wish that there was a printed version, so I could have been prepared for this moment. I’d like to think that if the ball had hit him in the face and he was being carted away by EMTs, I’d have gently placed the ball in his hand and whispered softly to him “you earned this”. And, of course, if he was a kid, he definitely should have the ball.

For about 2 innings I agonized over the whole situation (as a super self-conscious person would). It was made worse by all the attention you get as the recipient of a foul ball.

“OH MAN! Did you see that ball? That guy got it! THAT GUY RIGHT THERE THAT I’M POINTING AT”

“Hey buddy! Hold up that ball so I can get a picture of it! HOLD IT UP HIGHER”

I thought that any minute the murmur of the crowd would turn against me.

“I can’t believe that jerk took that Cubs fans’ ball. He was holding a SANDWICH. It just isn’t right.”

Right around Burnett’s tenth strikeout, I got over myself. When it’s two grown men going after a free toy at a child’s game, there are no rules.

and this is how i got opening day pirates tickets

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 09:58:51 -0400

my dad is a part of a group of work colleagues who, before each season, get together to split a season ticket package for the bucs. for the last few years, he’s asked me to send him my preferences before the night they sit down to divvy up the tickets - but this year he asked me to join them.

i sat down at the blawnox max and erma’s restaurant (perhaps the most ‘yinzer’ restaurant possible) with a grayscale copy of the season schedule (no color printer at work hoot hoot) covered in notations and preferences for the 81 home games that were up for grabs. “so and so is getting married this weekend, the in-laws are in town that weekend, there’s no way in hell i’m going to see the brewers on a monday night - that has the potential to wreck my entire week.”

besides dad and i, there were 8 other people at our long table - and in between the small talk (complaining about the couponing habits of their wives), the rest of the group similarly perused versions of the pirates schedule. it felt tense, but probably because i was the new guy (30 years younger than the next one before me) and i had one very clear goal in mind:

get tickets to opening day

i had a half day of vacation coming my way and i wanted to spend it soaking up the first drops of spring baseball in pittsburgh (literally, because it’s definitely going to rain on monday). i had missed all my other opportunities to get opening day tickets in advance, and with misty eyes checked stubhub daily - only to see tickets in decent sections still running in excess of $70 a seat. oh sure, I could sit in the outfield, but when I go to games I typically like to watch baseball - looking at starling marte’s butt is only good for so long. plus - drunk strangers in the afternoon during baseball? nothanksforever

dad drew our draft number from the envelope - 7

nooooooooooooooo dad whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. hopes instantly faded. i’ll spend opening day sitting at my desk at work with earbuds in, cussing.

and when the server came to take our order, the dudes sent her away. “we’re going to pick tickets first, then order.” WHAT. IT’S 7:30. THIS IS GOING TO TAKE AN HOUR. I EAT AT 5:00, THE EARLIEST ALLOWABLE DINNER TIME UNDER NATO LAW. SINCE WE CLEARLY WON’T BE GETTING OPENING DAY TICKETS, MAYBE WE’LL USE OUR FIRST PICK ON SEPTEMBER 17TH, A TUESDAY NIGHT GAME AGAINST THE PADRES AND I’LL JUST EAT THOSE TICKETS INSTEAD.

the grand marshal of the ticket draft began the process “okay everyone, are we ready? let’s go. number one?”

and then it happened. with the draft underway, everyone at the table immediately flipped their pirates printable schedules to page 2 - THE PROMOTIONAL CALENDAR. it was like the first time i saw the warden rip raquel welch’s poster from andy dufrense’s cell wall. i don’t know what is happening, but this is awesome.

i haven’t seen a group of grown men fawn over the prospects of seeing fireworks and third eye blind like this group tore through those skyblast and fan jam dates. these tickets are costing you 50 bucks a seat, bros. you know fireworks will be free on july 4th, right? and i could be wrong, but the last time somebody paid 50 bucks to see third eye blind play 6 songs was back when andrew hamilton was president BECAUSE NEITHER OF THOSE THINGS HAVE EVER HAPPENED

6 pittsburghers passed on the idea of going to opening day, and with the 7th pick, dad and i made plans to see the pirates stumble out of spring training and back into pittsburgh. and if jeanmar gomez ends up pitching that day, that’s cool, at least it’ll be raining and nobody will see me crying

are you kidding me with this headline cnn

Mon, 25 Mar 2013 09:03:31 -0400

are you kidding me with this headline cnn

colonel potter take off that stormtrooper mask this is the...

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 10:21:42 -0400

colonel potter take off that stormtrooper mask this is the korean war

cleveland indians logo made out of beer boxes, now for sale,...

Wed, 20 Mar 2013 08:22:19 -0400

cleveland indians logo made out of beer boxes, now for sale, because of course it is